Painfully Obvious

Maybe the reason why I take so much time away from milking cows out here in Eau Claire to lambast idiot reviewers of TV comedies is because film comedies have dived to such depths of un-funnyness. Exhibit A: The way all comedy film titles today sound like pitches in a boardroom rather than anything that might have been on top of an actual screenplay. Plenty of people have already complained about the lack of interesting female leads in our brave new Bromantic world, but back when we had Rosalind Russell and Katherine Hepburn we also had movies called His Girl Friday or Bringing Up Baby. Their crazy, convoluted plots could never have been summed up the way The Proposal, It’s Complicated, Knocked Up, or even (sorry Ms. Wiig) Bridesmaids can be merely by checking the local movie times. Imagine if The Shop Around the Corner had been called Anonymous Pen Pals. Also guilty: The Five-Year Engagement, The Break-Up, Date Night, or No Strings Attached, just in case you didn’t see it when it was called Friends With Benefits. Here’s the formula: take any totally meaningless and overhyped contemporary phenomenon, wait till it’s been beaten to death, and then summarize it in the most generic way possible. I like my comedy focus-grouped, don’t you?


So for all you film executives out there, get your hands on these hot properties. And if you’re planning on seeing a film comedy in the next ten years, here’s some of the titles you can look forward to. After any of these, do you really need to see the movie?


Love Commute


Cubicle Mates


She’s My Boss


Frat Party


Man Cave


Blacked Out


Best Friend’s Ex


Un-Divorced


On the Rebound


The Hook-Up


Break-up Text


Tivoing Alone


Missed Connections


Met on the Internet


YouTube Sensation


Tweethearts


Friend Me


It’s Just Lunch


Speed Date


First Date


Last Date


Worst Date Ever


Dating the President’s Daughter